


Miserable at Best

by brittyelaine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Drabble, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Post-Season/Series 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 12:07:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12210978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittyelaine/pseuds/brittyelaine
Summary: I can live without you, but without you I'll be miserable at best.





	Miserable at Best

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on [Tumblr!](http://brittywritesstuff.tumblr.com)

When Dean turns on his lamp, he half expects Cas to be perched at the end of the bed, watching him sleep. The very thing Dean always outwardly complained about but secretly kind of liked. 

His room, however, is empty, and he feels his heart fall. A familiar feeling now, in the endless weeks since. He’s always hoping, and he’s always disappointed. 

He sits up, leaning back against the headboard as his eyes scan the room. His iPod is still playing a little too loudly through his headphones on the nightstand, shuffling away through his playlist. 

“Cas,” he whispers, closing his eyes. He draws a deep breath and exhales slowly. He read somewhere that helps to calm nerves and stress. He’ll take whatever he can get right now. “Cas, I don’t know if you’re really here, and I know Sam thinks I’m friggin’ nuts… but I’m just gonna pretend I’m not alone tonight, okay?”

With a sigh, he smiles to himself and rests his head against the wall. “You’re probably standing over there, makin’ eyes at me like you always do. I complain, but I want you to know I kinda love it.”

He exhales slowly, and his iPod changes songs. “You know… I wish I’d had the nerve to walk right up to you and ask you to dance.” He chuckles, imagining Cas’s reaction. “You’d have said yes, of course. And we would’ve stumbled our way through.”

Dean realizes then that he’s crying. “Cas,” he whispers, swallowing the lump in his throat. “You know… I can live without you, man. I’ve done it before, but… without you, I’ll be miserable at best.”

**Author's Note:**

> Based on "Miserable at Best" by Mayday Parade


End file.
